Poem: "A Place That I Go"

From age 16 to 23 I wrote poetry, and in 2004 self published a book, 'Stranger In The Moving Chair' (still available to buy via the contact page of my website http://shilohmoore.wix.com/byshi )  The last poem in the book was the last poem I wrote.  It closed a chapter to my life.

I wrote a few more poems 6 years later, but again stopped writing, and focused on artwork. 

2 nights ago I felt I'd really like to write something again, and while lying down, I got out a pen and paper.  I usually write free verse (not rhyming,) but I wanted to see if I could write something that rhymed.  It poured out of me, and 20 minutes later this was what I had written: 

“A Place That I Go”

© 2015 By Shiloh Moore

17/11/15

(Age 35)

Despite constant pain and

Despite all the fears,

Despite the frustration

And the many tears

Over all these years

I have slowly grown,

To accept, and know a place

I can go on my own

Where fears are calmed

And inner peace pervades…

Where I love my life

Despite the pain that invades

I feel ‘held’ by hope

By strength, in reflection

And am ultimately moved

By a strong connection:

Despite the isolation

And no ability to travel

To see the sights nor

Be involved in person

Nor ‘contribute to society’

On a monetary level

Or to live my life

To its full potential

I long for a life partner

To share life and to intimately know

And I grieve for our children

Whom we’ll never nurture as they grow

In my fantasies

I have the strength and the power

To talk endlessly with friends…

Or at least for more than under an hour

Despite all this I feel I belong

To this universe, and to all humanity

Even in deafening solitude

I feel innate purpose, I feel free

I am grateful knowing this place

Where I not only merely exist

But live satisfied with all I have -

This gives me strength to persist

It's hard to imagine
Living this way
For the rest of my life...
Till I'm old and grey

So I live in this moment,
And block out the pain
I go to this place
Where deep down I'm ok.

The pain overwhelmingly aches

But deep within my soul

I know of this place, where

Within this life, I feel whole

Disclaimer:  Feel free to share this link, but please do not reproduce this poem without consent from the author. Shiloh Moore can be contacted at her website at:   http://shilohmoore.wix.com/byshi